Wednesday 3 September 2008

FOC drama after dinner.

Drama drama drama! FOCDADIFOE!
Free of charge drama after dinner in front of eyes! =p
What's the drama? Okay I know long posts are very boring to read but you've just got to read this one!

Today I had dinner with my mum at Lucky Garden at Bangsar. Claypot chicken rice. It's the typical suffocating coffee-shop and so we sat outside by the sidewalk. Separated by the divider, there's a row of car parks (parked horizontally). So we were like 5 feet away from the row of car parks. We ordered our food and ate almost 3/4 of it. As we were close to finishing our meal, the owner of a Honda Accord started blasting the car horn like there's no tomorrow! No, not once, twice or even thrice...it was at least 5 loooooooooooong horns which I am sure caused everyone in (and outside) the coffee shop to have this after-effect ringing in their ears! Typical Malaysians. Someone double parked his/her car (MyVi) in between two cars (Honda Accord and another Proton) and went missing. Clearly, he/she's gone quite far as the horns were loud enough for him/her to notice if he/she was nearby. My mum said, "Where has the lady gone?!" and I was like, "How do you know it was a lady?", "Yea, it is. She's got this bag with orange ribbon tied to it". I just gave her the =.= face. My mum just has this habit of staring at people walking pass her =p

Man the dude was pissed! He got of the car and asked the coffee shop workers if the owner of the MyVi was in the shop. The worker said no. (Duh! Of course not! You think he/she won't hear that ridiculous eardrum-bursting horn?! Pfbt!) So he was even more pissed. He went out of his car couple of times to check out the MyVi if there's any mobile number on the dashboard. Well, to be fair, the MyVi parked in between two cars so if the dude tried a lil harder, he could have easily reversed his car out but no...he wants it the easy way. Most of the coffee shop people said it was possible to reverse out as there was plenty of space to play around.

(Here's where psychology comes in =p) Okay it is not exactly by-passer effect but it is similar. People came out from the coffee shop to look-see-look-see and talk but did nothing =.= Hello, if you want to look see and talk, it's not going to make the car move itself! Do something! Help that poor b*stard please! Why did I call him a bas? Because he had 10 layers of foundation on his face...literally =p Come on, ask people to help you out nicely and I am sure they will. Getting mad and violent won't help you car grow frog legs and jump out from the lot. If I had few more years of experience, I would've offered to help him...seriously! But too bad =p Anyhow if I did, I would've got his Honda smashed up to the size of a Kelisa instead =p

What do I mean by violent and mad? At one point, he came out of his car, shook the MyVi real hard to make the alarm go off (and it didn't), KICK the car back door TWICE (real hard!) and went in back to his car. This time he was damn mad! He tried driving forward and reversing couple of times and BRAVO! (applause!!!) He managed to get his fat ass car out =) As he was passing by the MyVi, he took out his house keys (I believe) and made a beautiful-high-toned screeching sound along the car doors of the MyVi and drove off (duh!). Everyone from the coffee shop went to check out the MyVi. The back door was dented BADLY from the dude's pissed-off-high-power kick and yes, there was a long line carved on both the doors.

The drama doesn't end here. The MyVi owner was not back YET!!! (Common sense! How can you leave your car parked, blocking other people's car and just go missing for that long?!) Unfortunately, the MyVi was grey in colour and it was about 8pm (pitch dark in Malaysia). Another Proton Iswara opposite the MyVi was reversing out from his car park and *KROCK*! Instantly there were Ooo, Horr, Sei lo sei lo (Die die), Li pai cham lor (this time it's bad news) and of course the typical sam pat Malaysians came out from the coffee shop to see what happened (we're not sam pat because we were already sitting there =p first class view! LOL!). The Iswara clearly did not see the MyVi parked there and reversed his car right into the MyVi. The front bumper...gone case! There wasn't a scratch on the Iswara (seriously!). The dude came out and take a look. The coffee shop people was like, "Ke che mou yan, fai di chau la" (the owner of the car is not here, just go). The Iswara dude took off like he is in need for the toilet! Just seconds, this lady came by walking towards the MyVi and I saw that orange ribbon tied to her bag. My mum was like, "This is the lady".

True enough it was! She stared at her badly damaged car with two packets of ta pau-ed noodles in her hands and asked "Did anyone see this?". That was the last words heard as we were walking away from the crime scene. She wasn't too disturbed about it and drove off within seconds! Hmm. I would have FREAKED out! =p Therefore, my dear Malaysians and friends from other Countries (but especially Malaysians la); 8 lessons to be learnt:

1. Don't double park!
2. Don't double park your car and leave it out of sight for more than 3minutes!
3. Be patient, control your temper and try to reverse your car out instead of honking the damn horn!
4. Use the make up remover and wipe of some of that foundation, ask for help nicely and you will get it!
5. Don't get a dark coloured car that blends in well with dark environments (No matter how sporty black car looks! Or how easy to maintain grey cars!)
6. Don't look, see and talk without taking action. No one benefits from it.
7. Watch what you wear as distinctive things (like an orange ribbon tied to your bag) can capture people's eyes. Remember, there's always people (like my mum) watching YOU! =p
8. Parking your car illegally will cause you to have a dented car door, a straight line carved from a dude's house keys and a dented bumper that's deep enough to pour the soup noodle you just bought for dinner (yea, you can eat from there =p)!

~THE END~

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